Written in March 2003. With apologies to Irvine Welsh.

Choose Avid. Choose a 60hrs-a-week job. Choose a career in post. Choose a box of Jaz disks. Choose three fucking big monitors. Choose digibeta decks, hard drives, VHS machines and patchbays. Choose DLT back-up, vectorscopes, and plug-ins.

Choose 'NTSC has set-up.' Choose colour bars.

Choose 'Go to capture mode'. Choose an Avid T-shirt and matching baseball cap. Choose an ergonomic chair on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose digitizing and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning.

Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing progress bars, pouring fucking cappuccino into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable edit suite, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up assistants you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose Avid.

But why would I want to do something like that?

;)