On Tuesday March 6th 2001, the movie news site Dark Horizons posted the world's first sighting of the teaser poster for the movie 'Tomb Raider' starring Angelina Jolie. The scoop was reported on Harry Knowles's Ain't It Cool News site, and subsequently discussed by the site's visitors in a 'Talkback' message forum. This is a reproduction of what was said.

2001-03-06 02:44:05
Dark Horizons scores TOMB RAIDER mega babe poster

From: devil0509
Subject: as completely bangable as she looks there...
Comment:
It's been a long time since I paid 8 bucks to drool over a chick. Well, there was that table dance, but that's another matter. Anyway, I'll wait for some reviews on how good the actual movie is. But my my my she would look good on my bed, or in my shower, on on the dining room table, or on the sofa, or in the easy chair, or on the floor, etc etc etc

2001-03-06 09:35:00
From: SilentBob X
Subject: Just one word of advice when going to see this movie
Comment:
Stay away from anyone wearing a raincoat. Snootchie Bootchies!!

2001-03-06 09:42:32
From: virkku
Subject: Angelina is sweet
Comment:
Like I stated earlier, she has had a lip and breast enlargement a few years ago. Not that I would care, really. I suspect that about every third famous actress in Hollywood has changed her body in unnatural way and I couldn't care less. It's their body and they can do what ever they want to do with it. Besides Angelina would be sexy even without all the silicon and collagen. It's her persona and natural charisma that lifts her above most actresses. And just for the record, yes, of course I would fuck with her if I ever had a change. Someone suggested natural growth concerning her lips and tits, but natural growth doesn't happen so violently in a time period of just a few months. If I remember correctly, she has admitted the operations by herself. I'm personally looking forward for the movie, since it seems like fun cheese in the style of Charlie's Angels, which I loved. PS. It's definitely a photoshopped picture... They do that all the time in Hollywood.

2001-03-06 09:43:28
From: virkku
Subject: Talkback order is fucked up again...

2001-03-06 09:44:00
From: brokentusk
Subject: "Wow. What a lovely design in the backround." He said, while re-inserting his tongue.
Comment:
I think I speak for everyone when I say 'whoa'. Her lips could swallow a submarine. I think she looks like Lara Croft quite a bit, but who cares - she's hot (and Lara Croft isn't a real person).

2001-03-06 09:48:22
From: JPB
Subject: trading cards
Comment:
I just hope that when Inkworks releases the movie trading cards they include cards with genuine pieces of costume. Just think you could have a piece of material that had been next to her body!!!!!

From: jon-e-blaze
Subject: CANT WAIT BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO...
Comment:
ORIGINAL SIN THE FLIC SHE IS IN WITH BANDERAS OH WELL ANGIE LOOKS SWEET

From: Mako
Subject: Anti-Tomb Raider Geeks
Comment:
Tomb Raider (the game) is one of the best selling games of all time. The characters/level play/story lines/puzzles/action etc etc are what makes Tomb Raider a superior game. It also gives film makers a chance to make a great film/franchise. No one here has seen the movie, so until it comes out and you have seen it "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" I played DOOM. It sucked!! I played Mortal Kombat and saw both films. They sucked!! The Batman Films (post-Burton) sucked!! Street Fighter as a game and a film sucked!! And guess what? I actually played and watched those movies (unlike you people whom must have a telepathic sense of what every frame of the film looks like). Hey can you also tell me if tech stocks are going to go up on June 15th since you are so wise to see into the future. Dorks. So until you actually see the film, sit your large ass on your little chair and use your keyboard for more important things, like getting a date!! Oh, I forgot, you like to use your keyboard to moan and bitch and comlain about things you've never seen. Smart people here. NOT!!!

2001-03-06 10:13:31
From: Filmjester
Subject: THIS MOVIE IS PURE CRAP. ONLY SICK LITTLE PERVS WANT TO SEE IT. ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Comment:
THIS MOVIE IS PURE CRAP. ITS LIKE BAYWATCH, ONLY THERES ONLY ONE BIMBO ON SET. THE SAD PART IS THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO MAKE MONEY. ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO SEE IT IS A PERV AND A MORON!!!! INCLUDING HARRY!!!

2001-03-06 07:59:12
From: virkku
Subject: Angelina and silicon implants
Comment:
I wonder if that picture has been photoshopped a bit... Not many people seem to be aware of it, but about five years ago Angelina had both her lips and breast enlarged, and now it looks that she has got a new boob job. Her breast were big already after the first boob job, but not THAT big. And no matter how good wonderbras she is wearing, the pic looks fake. Althought I do find it sexy in a comic book kind of way. Unnatural, but sexy.

2001-03-06 08:43:45
From: Regis Travolta
Subject: How come we only see her right breast? Large though it may be.
Comment:
I would prefer seeing both of them equally well lit. But I bet her brother is pissed he no longer gets any of that action! Billy Bob is one lucky bastard.

2001-03-06 08:48:05
From: LSD
Subject: RHONA MITRA
Comment:
Look her up if you don't think she would have me the perfect Lara. BTW, does anyone know what is inserted into lips to make them larger. Collagen, or something....

2001-03-06 08:53:09
From: dashielm
Subject: of course its...
Comment:
photoshoped, nothing comes out of hollywood without taking a turn with the wizards of pShop.

2001-03-06 09:04:03
From: IamLegolas
Subject: Her breasts are soooooo Photoshop'd
Comment:
Haven't you seen the movie set photos? They aren't THAT big! ;)

2001-03-06 09:05:48
From: Johnny Demonic
Subject: ARNOLD and DOOM!
Comment:
I cannot belive that someone here would rather see Arnold in a Doom movie than Anjelina Jolie in any movie. Wait a minute, I forgot where I was posting for a sec. Of course I could belive it. But seriously, I think some of you people are REALLY fucked in the head. What is wrong with you people? Have you looked at yourselves in the mirror lately? Are you all so good looking that you can criticize Angelia Jolie? Holy fuck man,every guy I know would crawl through broken glass to get at her, and most of you people seem to be making fun of her. It really is odd if you ask me. Rent Gia. Rent Gone in 60 second (turn the sound off though and have something to read so you don't get bored though). Look at this woman. She may not look amazing all the time, but Christ man, she's a person. What do you expect? I would bet any one of you green money that if you had the chance to fuck her you would. And I'm talking about you people that are saying how disgusting she is. Liars. And as far as the fake lips and tits go, I don't know about that. They look pretty real to me. Body shapes change with weight gain and loss. It's a fact. If she does have a boob job, it is the best one I've ever seen. But about this movie. It's a fucking movie. It's an action adventure movie. There really isn't too much you can say about it. If it sucks, so what. That is to be expected. If it's good, that's cool too. Go on cheap night. Or if you are so leary about spending 10 bucks, wait and rent it when it comes out on video. I'll probably go see it in the theater cause I like to have fun at a movie once in a while. Same reason I'll probably go see Blade 2. For the fun of it. Not every movie has to be the fucking Godfather so just chill out.

2001-03-06 09:09:45
From: Juggernaut125
Subject: I like the way you look. mm-hmm.
Comment:
Some people call it a sling-blade, I call it a mule-dick. Mm-hmm. See thar's a reason why someone like Miss Jolie here would be with a guy like me.Mm-hmm. Thar shore is. She likes the way I talk. Mm-hmm. She likes it whin I grunt like this. Mm-hmm. You got any of dem french-fried partaters?

2001-03-06 02:51:09
From: klicker
Subject: first to pop one off?
Comment:

From: Duncan MacLeod
Subject: I wanna see it NOW!!!
Comment:
I can't wait to see those two things on a big screen! ;-)

2001-03-06 02:57:27
From: BComing
Subject: hate tomb raider
Comment:
the game was crap and boring and awful, lara croft is not sexy, she is a bunch of crappy pixels, angelina jolie is not sexy either, she looks like some blow up doll who is owned by a plastic surgeon who has been experimenting on her with collagen and the clip for this looks boring and idiotic and crap this is such a waste of money how much are they spending on this shit anyway? however much it is they could of spent it much better on an alien vs predator movie or a PROPER adaption of i am legend or given lord of the rings a bigger budget personally i would have rather seen the money go into invisble monsters or survivour, they deserve it more than this fucking bullshit first there was super mario brothers the movie! then there was lara croft, and next we have resident evil, why do people bother with this computer game to film shit GIVE US DOOM WITH ARNIE IN AN ALL OUT BLOOD FEST this is what we need, that is the only game with making into a movie and by the way, i also hate the damn enter button, posting me before i was ready, darn stupid thing booo jolie is AVERAGE AND BORING!!!!!!! BComing Somethingorother

2001-03-06 03:03:49
From: Yoshi
Subject: I like big boobs

2001-03-06 03:03:58
From: Yoshi
Subject: I like big boobs

2001-03-06 03:04:13
From: Yoshi
Subject: I like big boobs

2001-03-06 03:04:31
From: Yoshi
Subject: I like big boobs

2001-03-06 03:08:16
From: phatjacck
Subject: ok, im back from the bathroom
Comment:
no really! i had too pee so bad. WOW!!!!!!! those are nice!Damn you Billy Bob!gonna go pee again

2001-03-06 03:22:50
From: Jon L. Ander
Subject: looking at those..I mean er, looking at that almost makes me forget how bad resident evil will be...
Comment:
Ahhh Angelina, let me count the ways...

2001-03-06 03:45:54
From: solstiss
Subject: Is It Me Or Are Her Breasts Moving?
Comment:
Is this an animated gif? I swear those boobies are following me around the room. Which I don't mind at all. Anyway, I can't wait for 'Donkey Kong' or whatever the hell movie this is. looks good.

From: Titty Slicker
Subject: Harry your tits are even bigger
Comment:
So shut up for God's sake

2001-03-06 04:06:58
From: cerebus67
Subject: She's Still a Dog...
Comment:
Nice bod, but she's got definite "butter face"! (Everything looks good but her face!)

2001-03-06 04:09:33
From: X-Girls
Subject: Fuckin' Perfect
Comment:
what else to say? damn!

2001-03-06 04:23:28
From: Kyle.Reese
Subject: Is it me, or does Angelina look like she's got a faint mustache?
Comment:
Aside from those Pammy breasts, she also looks very masculin.

2001-03-06 04:32:06
From: mooncake
Subject: move over natalie portman....coz JOLIE is the QUEEN! WoOo....^_^
Comment:
this is so coooooool! a hot chick with two guns! any girls with swords & guns is mucho fine hehe. can't wait to see it ^_^

2001-03-06 04:39:57
From: Miss Aura
Subject: Drag Queen
Comment:
I agree with Kyle Reese, she looks quite masculine and that is definately a moustache.

2001-03-06 04:51:54
From: GunsBlazing
Subject: The mystery that is Jolie...
Comment:
Together with my dick and her lips we can solve this mystery. I still think she should do porn after this one. All your boobs are belong to us!

2001-03-06 05:14:14
From: SoulOnIce
Subject: YOWZA!!
Comment:
Jesus. Billy Bob knocks that all night.

2001-03-06 05:25:32
From: Kabouter Plop
Subject: They should have gotten some nice girl to do Croft
Comment:
And then do a full body makeup to make her look like a living, moving duplicate of the computer character ... What ? No Mom, I'm not looking up porn on my computer, I'm just looking at movie news. Ok, I'll be down for dinner then ... Relatives !!! Oops did I just think this or write this down ? Damn Embolisms, can't even think straight anymore !!! I wonder if they can do the exact shades the computer uses. And wouldn't it be cool if they could actually simulate the pixellation in real life ... yeah that would be cool ... Yes Mom I'm coming !!! She keeps hounding me, one of these days I'm gonna buy an axe ... Yes, a very cute girl in a Lara Croft costume and some medical scissors ... that would really rule ... Still not sure if I'm merely thinking this or writing it down, embolisms do change your persepthion fo eldlaity !!! Zgn Vaéah Hoog. Klute, ben tropp, ekki ekki ekki ekki ekki ekki ... Weeeeeeeeee! Food time !!!

2001-03-06 05:33:22
From: Bad Ronald
Subject: yawn.....
Comment:
Is this out on video yet?...oh right it has to be released to theaters first....ho hum

2001-03-06 05:44:00
From: mtoppi
Subject: You think its tough trying to be first in "Talk Back," try being first when you're typing with one hand!
Comment:
I think I made 20th or something like that...

2001-03-06 05:49:38
From: Uncle Jay
Subject: Uhh, I just came! Thanks Harry!

2001-03-06 05:54:02
From: Tad Spaceghost
Subject: Why is she all swollen in front?
Comment:
Goodness Gracious, I've never wanted to be a tight fit tank top so much in all my life. Hopefully my opportunity has arrived! Wish me luck!

2001-03-06 06:01:37
From: The Edge
Subject: GREAT MERCIFUL MANGOS!!! THAT girl has got a FULL sock drawer... ALOT of Top-sail...
Comment:
MY LOVING HEAVEN,... did billy bob secretlt get this chick perscribed to a hallucenogenic drug that he had her programmed to DO him? Has ANYONE SEEN that guy lately?? KATE MOSS has more meat on her bones than Thornton! Maybe he's shagging it all off. ... To quote Austin;"My GOD Vanessa's got a fabulous body... i bet she shags like a MINX. How do i tell them becasue of the unfreezing process that i have no inner monologue." *** OH MY GOD!!! EPIPHANY!!!! ANGELINA JOLIE IN AUSTIN POWERS THREE!!!!! AS 'JENNY FLAYSHO' !!!

2001-03-06 06:03:57
From: The Edge
Subject: OR, "FABALA FLAYSHO",

2001-03-06 06:06:48
From: The Edge
Subject: OR, "Cassidy Flaysho", ... or "Fuzzy Nocbottom"...
Comment:
... or;"Taffeta Cumming" WOW!! I LOVE THAT ONE!!!! WHAT DO YA THINK ALL???? Angie "no way on earth these are real" Jolie as 'Taffeta Cumming' in Austin Powers 3??????

2001-03-06 06:09:47
From: Unbannable
Subject: The Subject is <<OVERRIDE>> <<OVERRIDE>>
Comment:
Ohhhhh, baby! Supernerloser here, Boob Raiders! 13 times this morning to this picture! 13 times! "Beat" that, normal nerds and losers! Whew! Okay, back to "work!" <<OVERRIDE>> SUPERNERDLOSER. PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS BEFORE TYPING ON MY KEYBOARD FROM NOW ON. THANK YOU. BATTLEPOSTER.

2001-03-06 06:12:50
From: Mr. Vegas
Subject: I'll pass
Comment:
You know, Angelina Jolie looks great. There's no argument there. But this movie really just doesn't look that good. It's funny that it's getting all this pre-press just because of the cult following of the game, because I think if it didn't have the name Tomb Raider attached to it, most people would agree that this movie actually looks like it could be a shitty one. No one's really mentioned the fact that the trailer sucks and is pretty hokey and uninteresting. This movie's been hyped and hailed for so long that no one's going to give it the negative review it deserves. Just wanted to speculate a bit. Thanks.

2001-03-06 06:16:19
From: Stefka
Subject: Well I think she looks the part...
Comment:
So I guess I am looking forward to seeing this.... although this is certainly not a "date-move"... unless I want my date to drool all over the floor.... or worse...

2001-03-06 06:38:59
From: Metatron
Subject: This has got to be the stupidest idea...
Comment:
Folks, this is just the dumbest thing I have ever seen... well, perhaps since Joel Schumacher took over directing the Batman films and turned them into a circus of big beefy guys wearing spandex shorts and carrying neon guns. Tomb Raider, first of all, is a game whose only major factor lending to it's populartitty... I mean popularity... is obviously the digitally-endowed Lara Croft. Other than that, the game is little more than a relatively less boring version of Doom or any other first-person blow-shit-up games. For god's sake, if they're going to make a movie of this, they might as well make another Highlander film. The last time someone tried adapting a video game as a film... well, two words, for you, folks: Mortal Kombat. UGH!

2001-03-06 06:39:47
From: molehunter
Subject: GODDAMN YOU BILLY BOB!!!!!
Comment:
Lucky bastard! But serious, I think this is gonna be a fine movie. Simon West is a good(although, a bit 'flasy')director, and a hell of a lot better than uber-hack Michael Bay. This year will be a mighty-fine-movie-year indeed. Jolie rules!

2001-03-06 07:03:35
From: Mad Eye Moody
Subject: she certainly is a hot one...
Comment:
too bad the movie looks like total shit. again, why not just make it a porno? instead of lame ass ultrahigh budget adventure movies that suck, how about high quality, non-misoygynist pornos featuring hollywoods most sought after leading ladies? now THAT would be exciting.

2001-03-06 07:08:58
From: Brooklyn Bred
Subject: Don't hate the player, hate the game!
Comment:
Damn there are a lot of haters in here! What's wrong fellas you mad because you'll never get to be in a cool big-budgeted summer flick or that you'll never get to bang a big-breasted hottie in a cool big-budgeted summer flick? Probably both!

2001-03-06 07:23:24
From: LSD
Subject: Get a hold of yourselves, GEEKS!
Comment:
Shit you'd think your're back in high school. Besides those things are padded. There is no way that Angie would get a boob job and she was never that stacked. I say they should have gone with Rhona Mitra the official Eidos Lara Croft. Just cut some of her lines. She is British after all...In case you don't know her, she's the babe in Hollow Man..Sebastion neighbor in the window...

2001-03-06 07:36:51
From: Mr. Vegas
Subject: Hmmmm....
Comment:
Have you people never seen attractive women before? All I'm saying is that a.) there's not really enough evidence to hype Simon West as anything super-special, and b.) aren't you guys a bit leery of people who adapt things that are already popular into movies? It's a hollywood trick, just like sequels...if you like A, then you'll like A+B. I'm not striking out against this movie yet, but certain fanboy sites are drooling all over themselves for this when there's really not a lot there right now. Word of advice: don't let your imagination get too wild on this movie; it's very possible it's going to let you down.

2001-03-06 07:46:36
From: BoBaBrain
Subject: Powers 3
Comment:
Angelica is "Jenifer Tailia"

2001-03-06 10:42:41
From: Salem Hanna
Subject: I'm holding out hope for this flick, but even so...
Comment:
...I caught the trailer in front of Unbreakable a while back and thought it sucked cock. A shame, cos I loved West's Con Air. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be another Barb Wire.

2001-03-06 10:53:42
From: Mako
Subject: Filmjester Is A God!
Comment:
Everyone gather around!! Filmjester can forsee into the future and tell us that the Tomb Raider movie is crap!! And that we are all perverts!! My God can it be that he is the chosen one? Filmjester, please tell me who will win Superbowl 2010? Please tell me who will be the next Prime Minister of England. No better yet, tell me your age again, what is it? 3 years old? And I'll call your parents and tell them what a brilliant son/daughter thay have for being able to type words on a keyboard!! Wow... you are truely gifted.

2001-03-06 10:55:47
From: LSD
Subject: Jolie and inscest....
Comment:
I'll bet the only reason that she married SlingBob was so that her brother would not be that jealous. Hell, in that movie with Banderas it is said that Bob was involved in the sex scenes via directing so as to make Jolies love scenes more believable with Mr. Griffith. Talk about a cold bitch. I heard she was into some type of witchcraft. BTW, isn't collagen made out of hot dog weiners....? Yea'd I'd fuck her...only if I knew my dick wasn't going to fall off....Gimme Ashley Judd anyday....

2001-03-06 10:56:42
From: Mako
Subject: Filmjester Is A God!
Comment:
Everyone gather around!! Filmjester can forsee into the future and tell us that the Tomb Raider movie is crap!! And that we are all perverts!! My God can it be that he is the chosen one? Filmjester, please tell me who will win Superbowl 2010? Please tell me who will be the next Prime Minister of England. No better yet, tell me your age again, what is it? 3 years old? And I'll call your parents and tell them what a brilliant son/daughter thay have for being able to type words on a keyboard!! Wow... you are truely gifted.

2001-03-06 11:45:16
From: Robert Blake
Subject: Whoa, very nice girl... but this film is going to suck anyway.
Comment:
Think about it: if a great game like Street Fighter became a crappy movie, what can one forsee for a movie that is based upon one of the crappiest games ever? *** Why "Tomb Raider"? There are dozens of games that'd be better movies... *** "Journey to Silius", "Strider Hiryu", "Parasite Eve", "Snatcher", the "Marathon" series, "Doom", "FlashBack", "El Viento", the "Phantasy Star" series, damn, even "Alex Kidd" would be better than this! *** Any other suggestions?

2001-03-06 11:55:06
From: Smugbug
Subject: Breast implants a'la computer enhancements?

2001-03-06 11:58:18
From: MLH1138
Subject: WHAT SHIT
Comment:
I'm sure that poster will sell the "movie" to the pimple-popping fanboys out there and their older, Victoria Secret Catalog-masturbating counterparts. They should plant C4 in every theater screening this abomination and detonate it once said patrons are inside. We don't need those these types polluting the gene pool any further (if they are ever fortunate to know sex first-hand, that is). Angelina Jolie dropped out of my Top Ten Bangable Ingenues a loooong time ago.

2001-03-06 11:58:28
From: Mako
Subject: Boo Hoo - "The Baby Generation"
Comment:
My new name for the geeks out there in the world. Everyone here likes to pout, and whine, and bitch - but do you cry babies ever actually do anything about it. Nope. You are the "Baby Generation". You are the same people that blame everyone for your mistakes and never take responsibilty. You will help lead our country further down the spiral of human de-evolution. I can't wait. If you want to make your precious DOOM movie. Finance it yourself. If you want to make your precious PARASITE EVE movie, finance it yourself. Paramount owes you jack shit. And my hope is that TOMB RAIDER will wash all of you down the drain and into the bowls of the Earth where you once came from.

2001-03-06 12:13:57
From: Titty Slicker
Subject: suggestion game->movie
Comment:
No One Lives Forever, starring...er... Kristin Scott Thomas (I think) as Cate Archer, directed by Jay Roach. Silent Hill, starring....er... Treat Williams (?) as Harry and Cameron Diaz as that fine nurse, directed by David Fincher or whoever did Kiss The Girls. Any better casting suggestions?

2001-03-06 12:19:04
From: virkku
Subject: Angelina's implants
Comment:
Since I already received two e-mails in 30 minutes, I would like to apologize my silicon/collagen comments. Since I am a fan of Jolie I have quite a few pictures of her and she did seem more natural when she was a teenager. She did have big lips already then, but they were not HUGE back then. I can not prove in any way my implant comments. Her tits seemed a lot smaller in Cyborg 2 than they seemed to be in Hackers two years later... But it could have been natural growth... And her lips look nowadays EXACTLY like collagen lips look like. But they might be natural as well... Please don't e-mail me anymore... I guess my suspicious opinions about whether Jolie is "real" or not have born in internet where rumours have been travelling already for years. Anyway, cool girl, cool poster, cool trailer and hopefully will be a cool movie.

2001-03-06 12:57:30
From: sugar-ray2
Subject: Breat Impant Surgery
Comment:
I'm sure many of you have seen those documentaries about plastic surgeons and how they "install" breast implants on cable, but have you seen the real thing? Geez, its sick! After seeing one, I can tell you, the next time I see a chick with implants that horrific picture comes to mind. And then theres the annoying scar under the breasts that reminds you of the procedure. Fuck these hos with fake ones...all natural baby! WHat the hell, id rather have medium sized breasts that are natural then big bazookas that are artificial and place the woman at risk for breast cancer.

2001-03-06 13:03:53
From: jtrenton
Subject: DAMN

2001-03-06 13:19:40
From: I show no mercy
Subject: Mako is right....
Comment:
If they can fuck up Resident Evil (a game they just had to translate into a live action movie...but NO they had to change everything)...what´s the point in wanting any movie based on a video game? Stop crying over a poster, you homos (that goes for those of you who bitched at the last LOTR TB as well).

2001-03-06 13:30:21
From: El_Emeno
Subject: She's facing the WRONG way!
Comment:
Anyone who's played the game knows its an assman's fantasy. Boobs are irrelevant. Show me the booty!

2001-03-06 14:08:28
From: superninja
Subject: It's alright.
Comment:
Her head is too big for her body, and that's because Angie's gotten too skinny. I thought she was weird before she married Billy Bob, but now seeing those two together creeps me out. Still doesn't detract from the fact that they're both fine actors. I think Jolie will be fine -- I think it's Simon West and the script that could be the problems.

2001-03-06 14:21:06
From: Speaks Easily
Subject: PERFECT Casting
Comment:
This poster looks great! Angelina Jolie looks very svelte as Lara Croft. As an avid Tomb Raider fan, I can say to everyone that this project is very exciting and looking good at this point. Here's hoping the movie lives up to this poster!

2001-03-06 20:22:53
From: Sith Lord Jesus
Subject: Er, make that "INDY IV."
Comment:
^_^;;;

2001-03-06 20:23:49
From: Sith Lord Jesus
Subject: Man, WHAT is with the Talkback order?!
Comment:
Could someone do something about this?

2001-03-06 15:17:32
From: Bad Guy
Subject: Alright fellas...
Comment:
BOTH hands on the keyboard. Jolie looks damn good and most of you who are criticizing her looks know damn well that you would do her in an instant if given the chance. Personally, I couldn't really give a damn about the movie. I've never even played the game!! But I have seen pictures of Lara and I think they probably couldn't have cast a "name" actress who looks more like her. Quit yer bitchin'!!!\

2001-03-06 15:22:50
From: WHAT YOU SAY
Subject: ALL YOUR BREAST ARE BELONG TO US
Comment:
...nuff said

2001-03-06 15:35:55
From: Kabouter Plop
Subject: Just remember ...
Comment:
They probably took 100 pics at the photo shoot, selected the best one and then had people photoshopping over it for a few days ... I'd love to see the original picture though, just to compare things ...

2001-03-06 16:07:22
From: Dierdorf
Subject: MLH1138
Comment:
"...if they are ever fortunate to know sex first-hand..." --- was that a Freudian slip?

2001-03-06 16:53:41
From: Batutta
Subject: Anyone with doubts about the "realness" of Angelina's tits should see Gia.
Comment:
She displays them often in that movie, and they look real as can be...DAMN YOU BILLY BOB!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

2001-03-06 17:07:19
From: MLH1138
Subject: DEAR DORF,
Comment:
You wouldn't know a Freudian slip if you mumbled your mother's name during a session of the five-knuckle shuffle.

2001-03-06 17:21:27
From: bigpackagemax
Subject: JOLIE IS......LARA CROFT.....AND ALSO A SHIT HEAD
Comment:
WOW I'D SURE LIKE TO MEET WHOEVER OWNS THE BODY THEY HAVE STUCK THAT UGLY BITCHES HEAD ON....FUCK ME...HER LIPS ARENT RED ENOUGH........GOD I HATE THIS PHONY 'WACKY' FUCKING MOLE...THIS FILM LOOKS LIKE SHIT....THE SO CALLED 'TOMBS' LOOK LIKE FUCKING SETS AND THAT PARTY MIX SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT....HEY BILLY BOB YOU REDNECK PIECE OF SHIT...SMACK HER AROUND FOR ME NEXT YOU GO ON A DRUNKEN WHISKY INDUCED RAMPAGE...THANKS BUDDY

2001-03-06 17:24:03
From: Mr. Stevens
Subject: WOW!
Comment:
Now thats a poster! I can't believe how perfect Angelina Jolie has never looked so good.

2001-03-06 19:58:54
From: Monterey Jack
Subject: Angelia Jolie is HIDEOUS, people!
Comment:
I swear, her appearance in Gone In 60 Seconds caused me to let out a Beavis-esque scream of horror. Just because she has a good rack doesn't make her ghastly visage any less painful to look at. What about a pretty *face*, gentleman?

2001-03-06 20:20:25
From: Sith Lord Jesus
Subject: This will be an excellent film, and I just shorted out my keyboard.
Comment:
Fortunately, I've a backup. ^_~. Anyway, Jolie-chan *is* more then just a set of (exquisite, fantastic) breasts. She can act, too, and from what I've heard/read of the script the story is solid. This has much more of a chance of picking up the fallen torch of Indiana Jones then, say, INDY V. It's time for a new hero for a new century. Go, Lara!

2001-03-06 20:57:24
From: royalewithcheese
Subject: 30 Facial Reconstructions Later.....
Comment:
That's right, I don't know the exact number but Angelina has more plastic in her face than Michael Jackson. Well, maybe not that much, but enough to make a complete tupperware set.

2001-03-06 21:36:49
From: Buzz Maverik
Subject: One Day At La Casa De Thornton...
Comment:
"Goddamit, Angie! If I have to throw your brother out of here one more time---" "Oh, come on, B.B., he's not that bad!" "Not that bad! Last night in that dark, I thought that was you until I grabbe ahold o' sumthin' I do not want to be grabbin' a hold of." "He didn't have anywhere else to go! Dad won't give him any more money." "Fine, but has he heard of our guest room? Or th' sofa?" "The dog was in the guest room and the sofa hurts his back." "Shit! Okay, did you read the script Ron Howard sent over?" "THE CAT IN THE HAT? I didn't understand... what characters were we supposed to play?" "Thing 1 and Thing 2."

2001-03-06 22:04:46
From: Bad Guy
Subject: A question for Sith Lord Jesus
Comment:
INDY V??? What happened to INDY IV?? Did I miss something? Hey Buzz, you're killin' me man. Funny shit. Thing 1 and Thing 2, indeed.

2001-03-06 22:39:15
From: Sith Lord Jesus
Subject: Yo, Bad Guy!
Comment:
I meant "IV" as I corrected in another post which is all out of order due to the crackhead organization of this talkback. Almost makes one pine for usenet, eh? Almost.

2001-03-06 22:58:12
From: Dr. Sid Schaefer
Subject: Tomb Raider 4x4
Comment:
I just got back from the Geneva Auto show, where I saw the tricked-out Land Rover AJ drives in the movie. It was actually pretty cool - all shiny steel and beefy tires, with a pick-axe and shovel on the hood, and a shitload of jerry cans in the back. It even had a welded tray containing a Sony Vaio mini-laptop right by the steering wheel. And all you UK purists out there will be happy to know that it's right-hand drive. Oh and by the way, the other guy is right - see "Gia" if you want to get a first-hand (ahem) view of AJ's rack. It is something to behold indeed - as natural as the Grand Tetons...

2001-03-06 23:21:43
From: Angry Samoan
Subject: Slave to My Dick
Comment:
"and it makes me...FEEL SICK!" Call me crazy, but I don't give a shit how big Croft's tits are, I care about if the movie's any good.

From: billybobhoyle
Subject: any guy who doesn't think Jolie is hot is GAY!!
Comment:
Gay or homo, whatever u want to call yourselves.

2001-03-07 02:11:19
From: CrapHole
Subject: holy crap
Comment:
what a hottie..but her hair in gone in 60 seconds was the best..any chick with dreadlocks is ok by me. I cant believe I actually sat through that steaming pile just for her hair. If you ask me any chick with Dreadlocks is instantly 100 times hotter. what I would do to have a girlfriend with dreadlocks.. ahhh maybe someday.

2001-03-07 06:32:46
From: jelloboy
Subject: Well, If She Were MY Sister I'd Bang The Shit Out Of her!
Comment:
....but I think I'll wait for the nice T&A still shots to pop up online before I pay to see a Video Game Movie.

2001-03-07 07:55:05
From: austinwave
Subject: Are we going to have to read a review about her swirling ass?
Comment:
Damn, if I have to read another five page review about how great this movie is since Angelina's swirling ass fills the screen, I'm going to puke.

2001-03-07 07:56:43
From: austinwave
Subject: Can we have a MarketEcho on which breast is going to be nicer?
Comment:
Can we have a MarketEcho on which breast is going to be nicer?

2001-03-07 08:01:59
From: Gul Shah
Subject: CrapHole: Your name just about sums it up...
Comment:
First off, "Gone in 60 Seconds" was a steaming pile of shit - Jolie's hair included. Secondly, dreadlocks on white people is just plain stupid (not to mention filthy). Rastafarians wear dreads because of their religious beliefs (the same reason that Hasidic Jews grow their locks), not because they're trying to look cool. If you really want a girlfriend, try taking a bath and getting an education.

2001-03-07 08:03:31
From: BoBaBrain
Subject: The T.V. Show
Comment:
Tomb Raider is based the english T.V. show 'Treasure Hunt'. The way that camera followed Rice around... Pink jumpsuit... Cheek bones...

2001-03-07 08:33:59
From: bongjuice
Subject: Those aren't 45's
Comment:
You figure out what I mean

2001-03-07 09:08:47
From: LordZanthos
Subject: Retards...
Comment:
For those of you who apparantly are not paying attention, please note two things: 1.) Angelina went through four months fo training to play Lara, she is now a hard-body, but women's bodies keep certian fatty deposits longer, no matter waht a women does to work it off, so we have a leaner and meaner Angie with the same attributes... they just look better now... and you know you want her... even women and aliens want her; 2.) Many movie posters are completely artificial (airbrushed, paintshopped, whatever) and do not actually use photos at all... so what we see in this poster (yes, I know it looks real... it's supposed to you dolt!) is probably an artist's representation of the gravity defying starts and their luciously lipped symbiote. Wait to see the damn movie before blasting it.

2001-03-07 11:24:05
From: Black Jesus
Subject: Goddamn! I'd eat a mile of her shit just to get to her asshole!!
Comment:
damn right i would

2001-03-07 11:26:34
From: Buzz Maverik
Subject: I Hear Ya Talkin', Craphole....
Comment:
...Wow, if I was in public and I said "I hear ya talkin', Craphole" out loud, I'd probably get 51-50ed again. While I don't find the dreadlock look asthetically pleasing, it implies a certain wildness, a certain coolness which you're wise in not passing up.

2001-03-07 11:39:19
From: 221b
Subject: Her lips are too red!
Comment:
...But only in my dreams! What? You thought I was talking about the ones on her face? You've been look at posters of hobbits too long! PS He DID only have three fingers!

2001-03-07 12:17:25
From: Bionic Monkey
Subject: I can't wait for this flick!!
Comment:
This is one flick I want to see. This movie could suck royally, but as long is it has Angelina Jolie running around in tight shorts and and t-shirt shooting pistols at bad guys, I'm there!! BionicMonkey

2001-03-07 12:23:42
From: usagi
Subject: If you can touch them, they are real
Comment:
 

2001-03-07 13:08:43
From: The Shark
Subject: Its those 'designed-specifically-to-give-head'-lips of Hers that get ya boys a'goin...
Comment:
 

2001-03-07 13:25:14
From: bigpackagemax
Subject: the guy who said if you think she is ugly you must be gay
Comment:
i think she is a disgusting fucking pussy eating, incest lovin' wannabe weirdo piece of shit...that guy who said if you think she is ugly must be gay well lube me up and raid my tomb because she is one fucking hideous slut..........with great big boobs though...i will give her that....oh hang on thats not her body....but a doubles....so she is just a disgusting slut then so billybobhoyle and all you other drooling fucking morons....stop slamming your weedy little dicks into each other assholes and imagining it to be jolies and shut the fuck up....shes a pig...END OF STORY

2001-03-07 13:43:25
From: RAVAGE
Subject: Like a dirt road cowboy!
Comment:
I would fuck her in a very uncomfortable position and i'm not talking about the backseat of a Volkswagon.

2001-03-07 16:07:04
From: BigW
Subject: I'll bet there'll be barely enough plot to make a video game out of.
Comment:
 

2001-03-07 19:16:53
From: Ally_Kat
Subject: Mustache?
Comment:
Hmm. I think it looks like she has a mustache. Might be those lips, though. Otherwise, decent poster. I wish they would have kept the original look of Laura. It wasn't cartoony like a spandex outfit so I didn't see a need for the change. I'm going to see it on opening day anyway.

2001-03-08 14:03:46
From: flowergirl
Subject: Have any of you dweebs....
Comment:
.....EVER gotten laid outside of a chatroom? I think not.

2001-03-08 17:14:16
From: bigpackagemax
Subject: hey Flowergirl......
Comment:
....ever been laid when money hasn't exchanged hands afterwards.

2001-03-08 21:05:47
From: Redbeard_NV
Subject: The balance, the composition...
Comment:
...the hooters!!!!!

2001-03-09 06:23:22
From: flowergirl
Subject: Bigpackagemax, you sexy thing....
Comment:
...you wound me to the quick, you big sexy one handed typist guy. Gosh....being called a whore by a group of horny twelve year olds who are shooting all over their keyboards....gosh that hurts my feelings. Actually, my husband likes to take me out for steak dinners and a movie after we make love. But I hope you all enjoy the movie. To each their own. I was just feeling a little evil yesterday.

2001-03-09 07:17:49
From: Julez9
Subject: Virgins? Or just bonding?
Comment:
While I think this poster is a great piece of work - my compliments to the crew of Photoshop whizzes, costume designers and make-up artists who turned Jolie from beautiful to cartoon-babe in a single bound - I can't believe the pie-eyed country-boy reaction this has gotten here. C'mon lads, you know when your chain is getting well & truly jerked. I may be better placed than most to know how this was created (I work in digital media and do work for film and fashion industries), but it scares me a little to think that there are really people out there who don't realise that this is as cheerfully fake as a carnival mermaid. Looks like BT Barnum wasn't so wrong after all...

2001-03-09 16:47:44
From: bigpackagemax
Subject: ooohhhh Flowergirl you nimble little minx.....
Comment:
...hohoho...boy do I feel dumb now but tell me the first time your father fucked you was it missionary or from behind? Just curious.

2001-03-10 03:02:48
From: flowergirl
Subject: Thank you for making my point, bigpackagemax
Comment:
What I find sad about this thread is that is goes *way* beyond the point of having some sexy fun ogling a pretty girl. Its comments have become so vile that they completely dehumanize the object of everyone's "affections," and its more than a little alarming that not one of you seems to realize this sad fact.***I'll tell you one thing about my poppa. He'd never dream of saying (or typing) in public that if his sister was as sexy as a certain celebrity he'd bang her. He has too much self respect to say something that vile. Making that sort of remark is indicative of a young man who has extraordinarily little respect for women and even less for himself. If only that boy realized that, ultimately, he degrades himself by thinking and talking in this manner.***Too bad he's not the worst offender on this thread. Go ahead now. Showcase your maturity by making another remark about me and my male relatives having sex. It's okay. That's your mindset. I should have shown more maturity than to start anything by making the "dweeb" remark, but like I said--I was feeling a little evil when I read the hornball parade.

2001-03-11 08:27:29
From: GnatMan
Subject: Hi
Comment:
Ahem... IT'S JUST A MOVIE. IT'S BASED ON A VIDEO GAME. OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO SUCK. Can someone tell me of ONE decent movie ever made from a video game that hasn't sucked? Are people still going to see it? Was Mortal Kombat Annihalation number 1 for like 2 weeks?! Who remembers how bad THAT one blew?

2001-03-11 12:00:07
From: bigpackagemax
Subject: c'mon now flowewergirl, why so mad, i mean after all...........
Comment:
You started this ya fucking uppity bitch, I wasn't even commenting on how nice she is....i personally think she's(jolie) a fucking pig and would happy to see her end but you came on here being a typical liberal, p.c no sense of humour uptight 'GIRL' mocking all the other guys on here who happen to want to bang her.....and that by the way is the whole purpose of that poster...which joile obviously agreed to do and knew what it was for...to sell the film.....to guys who want to bang her.Its not their fault your husband cheats on you...with men....in toilets. p.s the guy who said he would eat a mile of shit just to get to her ass.....that is fucking genius man. I am very jealous of that line...it's a good one